Bonus: Spiritual Direction with Mary Glowaski

Quick Summary

What if the struggle in your spiritual life isn’t a sign of failure, but proof that your relationship with God matters deeply? In this intimate conversation, spiritual director Mary Glowaski reveals how spiritual direction creates sacred space for encountering God’s love in unexpected ways, especially in our deepest struggles and shame.

Mary shares her unexpected call to spiritual direction, the profound difference between counseling and spiritual companionship, and why being harsh with ourselves blocks us from experiencing God’s unconditional love. If you’ve ever wondered what spiritual direction actually is, how to find a director, or whether it’s right for you, this episode offers compassionate wisdom from someone who has walked with countless souls through their most sacred stories.

Discover why spiritual direction isn’t about getting answers; it’s about learning to see yourself and others through God’s eyes of infinite compassion.

In This Bonus Episode, We Explore:

• Spiritual direction focuses on your relationship with God, not on finding immediate answers or solutions
• The gentleness in spiritual direction mirrors God’s gentle work in our lives—transformation doesn’t need to be forced
• Many people struggle not with feeling unloved, but with seeing themselves as lovable
• Spiritual directors are formed professionals who create covenantal (not just confidential) sacred space
• The ego is sneaky—spiritual direction helps us get out of our own way so God can work
• Self-compassion unlocks our ability to show genuine compassion to others
• The struggles we face are often universal human experiences, not signs of unique brokenness
• Anthropomorphizing God (making God in our image) prevents us from becoming reflections of God’s image

[00:00] Introduction and welcome

[00:36] Mary’s background: From social work to spiritual direction

• Family life and career journey
• The unexpected call while driving past University of St. Francis

[02:00] What is spiritual direction?

• Difference from counseling and therapy
• Responding to divine invitation
• Seeing all of life as sacred

[05:00] The focus on relationship with God, not human guidance

• Trusting God’s work in the directee’s life
• Being a conduit rather than an answer-giver

[06:00] Common misconceptions about spiritual direction

• Ancient practice that was lost and rediscovered
• Not just for clergy—relatively new widespread practice (last 60 years)

[08:00] Suspending what we think we know

• Trusting the directee’s experience of God
• The privilege of witnessing sacred stories

[09:00] The gentle stance of spiritual direction

• Creating peaceful, unhurried space
• Cultural addiction to productivity vs. spiritual receptivity

[10:43] The struggle with self-love and feeling lovable

• How harshness toward ourselves blocks God’s love
• Knowing whose we are, not just who we are

[12:00] Spiritual direction vs. counseling vs. mentoring

• How to discern what someone needs
• Staying faithful to the original relationship

[14:00] How spiritual direction changes the director

• Being humbled by directees’ courage
• Witnessing God’s work in immeasurable ways
• Holding stories in a covenantal way

[16:00] The unique interior access of spiritual direction

• Seeing growth that spouses may not even see
• The hidden nature of spiritual transformation

[18:00] Humility as foundational for spiritual directors

• Praying “get me out of the way”
• Relief in knowing it’s not about you

[20:00] Stories of growth and transformation

• Learning to stop making God in our image
• The relief of self-compassion
• Journey toward forgiveness of grievous harm

[24:00] What a typical session looks like

• Monthly hour-long meetings
• Inviting the Holy Spirit’s presence
• No homework—trusting God’s work between sessions

[27:00] Meeting with other spiritual directors

• Peer supervision and ethical discussions
• Importance of receiving spiritual direction yourself

[29:00] How to find a spiritual director

• Spiritual Directors International directory
• Local ecumenical directories forming
• Challenges in finding the right fit

[31:45] Does a spiritual director need to be clergy?

• Importance of proper formation over ordained status
• Warning about untrained “spiritual directors”

[33:45] What Mary wishes people knew

• How deeply loved they are by God
• Freedom from fear of God’s judgment
• Invitation to be kinder to themselves

[35:00] Practices that support spiritual direction

• Correlation with Mass attendance and prayer
• Living an integrated life vs. compartmentalized “spiritual life”

[36:45] The connective tissue: Awareness of mystery

• Staying rooted when life is overwhelming
• Relieved of the burden to judge everything

[38:00] Being present vs. letting ego take over

• When to speak up for justice
• Wrestling with God like Jacob

[40:00] Christ’s easy yoke vs. spiritual struggle

• Struggle shows the relationship is valued
• Keeping hearts open despite challenges

[42:00] Universal human struggles

• Our stories are the same as Scripture’s stories
• Sharing in goodness, not just shame

[44:00] True empathy: “I could be there”

• Recognizing our capability for the same mistakes
• Freedom from judgment

[45:00] Self-compassion and taking responsibility

• Practicing compassion on others first
• Not projecting our inner state onto others

[47:00] Looking for witnesses

• Finding people who embody what we need
• Mary’s experience watching communion after her husband’s death
• Choosing what and who we look to

About Mary Glowaski

Mary Glowaski is a spiritual director, pastoral counselor, and former social worker who spent 20 years working in victim assistance, pastoral care, mediation, and crisis intervention for the Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend. After receiving her master’s in pastoral theology and completing three years of Ignatian formation, Mary has dedicated her life to creating sacred space where people can encounter God’s love and gentleness. A mother of two sons, mother-in-law to two daughters-in-law, and grandmother to three, Mary brings deep wisdom, humility, and compassion to her ministry of spiritual companionship.

Resources Mentioned

• Spiritual Directors International – Directory to find spiritual directors
• Ignatian spirituality – Formation tradition rooted in St. Ignatius of Loyola
• Northern Indiana Spiritual Directors – New ecumenical directory forming
• Centering prayer – Contemplative prayer practice discussed in sessions

Memorable Quotes

“Spiritual direction is really about looking at the whole… These moments in someone’s lives, even the things that we struggle with, there’s sacredness there.”

“Too often, I find people that it’s not that they don’t feel loved, they don’t see themselves as lovable.”

“Before someone comes to me, I pray, get me out of the way. Really, who cares what I think? It doesn’t matter.”

“We spend so much time anthropomorphizing God, making God into us instead of making me an image, a reflection of God’s image.”

“When a relationship with God is a struggle, I say thank you, because that says to me that it’s of value.”

“Given the right circumstances, I’m certainly capable of doing the same thing. And so that just really relieves me of like, I don’t need to judge it because I could be there.”

“We can take a deep breath and begin again.”

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Religion to Reality is an initiative of DeSales Media, dedicated to helping people bridge the gap between religious practice and lived spiritual reality.