Bonus: Accompaniment, Belonging, and the Work of Evangelization with Friar Rick Riccioli

QUICK SUMMARY

In this bonus episode of Religion to Reality, hosts Dave Plisky and Father John Gribowich sit down with Friar Rick Riccioli, a Franciscan Friar Conventual and parish pastor in Brooklyn, for a wide-ranging and deeply honest conversation about what evangelization looks like in the real world today.

With over four decades of religious life and pastoral ministry across Canada and the United States, Friar Rick reflects on the tension between radical welcome and Gospel truth, the difference between accompanying people and trying to control their faith journey, and how parishes can become places of genuine belonging without losing their Catholic identity.

From Alpha and Divine Renovation to funerals, young adults, parish leadership, and the quiet heartbreak of parents whose children have left the Church, this episode offers practical wisdom, lived experience, and Franciscan humility for anyone who cares about the future of parish life.

In This Bonus Episode, We Explore:

• What authentic accompaniment really means—and what it is not
• Why evangelization begins with relationship, listening, and trust
• The difference between belonging, believing, and behaving
• Lessons learned from Francis Corps and forming young adults in faith and service
• How Alpha helps build a culture of hospitality, not just a program
• Why funerals may be the Church’s most powerful evangelization moments
• The quiet pain of parents whose children have drifted from the faith
• Challenges of leading parishes with aging infrastructure and changing demographics
• Why empowering the laity is essential to the Church’s missionary future
• What young adults are actually looking for in the Church today

[00:00] Introduction & Friar Rick’s Background

• Meet Friar Rick Riccioli: 42 years as a Franciscan, serving across Canada and the U.S.
• Current ministry at Most Holy Trinity-St. Mary’s Parish in Williamsburg, Brooklyn
• Journey from Montreal to Toronto to Syracuse, now leading urban parish renewal

[03:00] Francis Corps: Faith Formation Through Service

• Year-long volunteer program combining service and intentional faith formation
• How the program transforms both social justice warriors and traditional Catholics
• The power of living in community: “What did you do to my daughter?”
• Learning to balance individual convictions with communal responsibility

[06:00] Bridging the Gap: Social Justice vs. Church Connection

• Meeting people where they are: from soup kitchen volunteers to devoted parishioners
• The importance of being “truly Catholic and truly human”
• Creating space for questions and doubts without judgment
• Why building relationships matters more than having all the answers

[11:00] Creative Outreach: The 11:11 Service

• Creating a non-Mass Sunday service for those not ready for traditional liturgy
• “Come for coffee, stay for supper”: Building pathways to the Eucharist
• Navigating the challenges of radical welcome in practice
• When soup kitchen patrons become part of your worshiping community

[13:00] The Art of Accompaniment

• How much should we try to change people vs. meet them where they are?
• Avoiding the trap of “I’m going to hold your hand and pull you where I want you to go”
• Case studies: Walking with LGBTQ+ parishioners, families with trans children
• Everyone’s path to holiness requires listening to God, not just conforming to prescriptions

[20:00] Copyright & Church Teaching: Holding Truth with Humility

• Balancing absolute truth with pastoral reality
• “We may not always be the perfect vehicles for interpreting revelation”
• The Franciscan approach: humility, service, and kinship first
• Treating every person as family, not a stranger you’re ministering to

[22:00] Leading Parishes Through Cultural Change

• Working with aging congregations while reaching young adults
• The heartbreak of parents whose children left the faith
• Why elderly parishioners show up to rock concerts: they want the church to succeed
• Technology and personal follow-up: staying connected after weddings and funerals

[31:00] The Power of Funerals in Evangelization

• “I’ve gotten more people back to church through funerals than any program”
• Meeting families in vulnerability without judgment
• Why personalization matters: showing up as fully human and fully Catholic
• The challenge of follow-up when there’s no guarantee of continued connection

[42:00] Reimagining Church Buildings & Sacred Space

• Should we remove pews and make churches multi-purpose?
• What young adults actually want: transcendence AND welcome
• The Friendsgiving dinner in the main aisle: powerful or problematic?
• Balancing sacred space with flexibility for community building

[46:00] The Wedding Dilemma: Rules vs. Relationship

• When couples want a Catholic wedding but don’t attend church
• The cost of hospitality: investing in people who might disappoint you
• Why starting with conversation beats starting with requirements
• “I don’t want one more story of the priest being mean”

[55:00] The Young Adult Paradox

• Why young adults are filling the 12:30 Mass but not joining small groups
• “I don’t need you for my social life”
• Are they just punching in and out, or is something deeper happening?
• The gym membership analogy: getting what they need without full community engagement

[01:00:00] What Is Community, Really?

• How social media has transformed our understanding of belonging
• “Unless you’re following someone to the bathroom they stunk up”—real community requires friction
• The New York City challenge: nobody plans to stay forever
• Peeling away layers: beneath the Instagram lives are real struggles

[01:08:00] The Uncomfortable Path to Vocation

• We’ve failed to convince people that discomfort leads to growth
• “How you come out of yourself is by entering uncomfortable places”
• Making people comfortable vs. helping them be comfortable with discomfort
• The original sin of avoiding “the other”

[01:11:00] Final Thoughts

• The importance of helping people engage with those different from themselves
• Trusting the Holy Spirit’s work even when we can’t measure results
• Why success in ministry can’t be quantified like a marketing campaign
• The ongoing journey of parish transformation

ABOUT FRIAR RICK RICCIOLI

Friar Rick Riccioli is a Franciscan Friar Conventual and parish pastor in Brooklyn with over four decades of religious life and pastoral ministry across Canada and the United States.

MEMORABLE QUOTES

“Everyone is welcome—but not everyone’s next step is the same.”

“Evangelization happens at the speed of relationship.”

“You can’t drag people into holiness. You have to walk with them.”

“The Church’s greatest moments of evangelization often happen at funerals.”

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Learn more about our work: Religion to Reality is an initiative of DeSales Media, dedicated to helping people bridge the gap between religious practice and lived spiritual reality.